Forces of Nature

I dislike days like these that throw me off balance. .. way off balance.  I don't like the feeling of being out of touch with the universe. .. And yet it happens so easily for me. .. Being pissed off by a co -worker, feeling under-acknowledged at work and feeling indecisive about my values

I don't know whether to take myself more seriously or less seriously. ....I mean. .20 years from now I don't know what I will wish I would've done.  These unstable years seem to be fruitless. .... especially since I don't feel connected to my intuitive nature on most days. .. it's clouded by doubt,  anger and disappointment. I also feel like my complaints are petty when I consider the bigger picture. How the earth will remain long after human life

So what now?  I'm still reading books to open up answers within my depths. .. And I wonder. .. am I laying the groundwork or is time just passing?