About Jennifer Lawrence and Life

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......I’m going to call her Cady. Cady met this cute Lebanese boy at Bangers and Lace, a trendy-ish bar in Chicago that I’m too poor to afford anything at, and really wanted him to ask for her number. Cady asked, “How do I get him to like me? I really want this guy to ask me out.” Cady was recently single after a long-term relationship and unsure about how this whole hooking up thing works. Like every girl in the Dating Books section at Barnes and Noble, she wanted to know what the rules are.And that’s the problem: We get so caught up in the rules of the game and conforming to other people’s expectations of how we should behave that we forget to let ourselves just be. We forget to kick back and enjoy the little things about dating that make it great, like that nervousness that he won’t ask you out or that stomach-tickling moment before you kiss for the first time. When we’re worried about being the idea of someone interesting and desirable, we ensure that no one is happy in the situation. It doesn’t matter whether he asks you out or not. It matters whether you’re having fun and being yourself.I once took this advice and applied it to a job I hated, where I would go into work every day desperate to make my bosses happy and do everything right, ensuring that a) I lived in fear of them and b) I kept screwing up because of it. But one day, after getting yelled at by my boss the millionth time, I decided to stop living for his approval or anyone else’s. I was going to start going to work every day as if that were going to be my last day on the job. I was going to live like I was getting fired. I did end up getting fired — or rather, I beat him to it by quitting — but I learned that I hated it for the right reasons. When I quit, I walked out with a smile on my face, because it had been the first time I ever enjoyed my job.So, I told her to stop caring so much about the guy or about dating in general: “Don’t listen to me or anyone else. Write your own rules.” I then explained to her my Jennifer Lawrence Vs. Anne Hathaway Theory and told her to go be the kind of person who doesn’t need someone like me to tell them what to do. Be the person who makes their own decisions and says what’s on their mind, whether people like it or not. Be the person who is too loud and makes mistakes sometimes, like farting in public or accidentally dissing Meryl Streep. Be the person who isn’t afraid to be herself and maybe go home alone sometimes.You might not get laid, but you and those around you will admire you for having the courage to do you.That’s the best dick inside you you’ll ever feel: the dick of self-respect.