Quarter- Life Crisis

Approaching 25... it feels strange knowing that an era of my life is gone. . And never to return? 

But what's really lost? Pure bliss? having no responsibility? Innocence? 

What I miss most is not knowing. .. being happily oblivious to the myriad of awareness levels, emotions and routines life entails. On the flipside, awareness has brought its own adventures. And social responsibilities can be managed to suit your liking. No-one can really tell you what to do and how to live your life. ... Freedom. .... the thing I always wanted. .. isn't as blissful as I had imagined. . But a difficult  stage to navigate when it's new to you and you're still taking advice from and being judged by others who are levels ahead of you. You have to ask yourself if they are where you want to be... Or if you're headed somewhere completely different

What scares me most is unfamiliarity. .. not knowing where I will end up.  Not knowing if all the strife and patience will eventually be worth it.  No-one can tell me because no-one lives my life. . Or yours.  Traveling on a path you create as you go is actually terrifying. . But also triumphant. .. each step forward is a miracle. .. so I'm pretty much living my life being grateful for every bit of progress until I reach my destination. ..

Wherever I end up. .I could say at least it was fulfilling and fun?  And I lived according to my truth? Who am I really seeking permission and approval from? My family? society? Peers? Me? not being able to please everyone.... the obvious answer is God.... who created you and put a vision in your fibres.... who knows you inside and out.. who sends angels to guide you and wind to soothe your spirit...

Sometimes I don't believe mother nature is impartial. ...she sees and knows all and her wisdom/knowledge is unmatched. The laws she is governed by are embedded in every living thing and she feels our vibrations and reacts accordingly. ... Like a guitar string to create a sweet or horrid sound

Back to my quarter - life situation. ... I'm feeling stuck and content at the same time. I know I have a far way to go but I know the question of "why" will get me there rather than "how"